In the past 3 months or so, we talked about a variety of topics revolving around God, being single, and being in a relationship. This has been a true learning season for me and I hope it has been for you too. To recap that past season, let’s discuss a little bit about each topic.

one. finding Him and him

we must find our fulfillment in Christ alone, not in a woman or a man.

two. if it’s not good, it’s not God

if it is a part of God’s plan for you, than it will be good.

three. they’re not yours to fix

don’t try and fix someone by being in a romantic relationship with them.

four. a real christian love story

talked to my mom about her relationship God and her relationship with my dad.

five. prayers for your future spouse

praying for your future spouse is an act of love towards them, even if you don’t have a clue who they are.

six. un(lovable)

no matter how unlovable we feel, we are loved by God who makes us lovable to others.

seven. trusting God in the midst

Olivia spoke about finding God in the midst of a hard breakup and letting Him lead you.

eight. waiting game

Nicole spoke about waiting for the one that God has planned for you.

nine. singleness isn’t a disease and doesn’t need to be cured

And now today, our last topic of this wonderful learning series! A topic that some of you who are single are going to fight me on, and that is, we don’t need to be in a romantic relationship. None of us need to be in a relationship, we don’t need anything as long as we have Jesus. Singleness really shouldn’t be a problem in this world, not when we are surrounded by God’s love for us and other Christians who cherish us. If we truly implanted Jesus into every aspect of our lives, we wouldn’t worry about tomorrow, we wouldn’t worry about our plans for the year, or for the next five. If we let Jesus take control of our lives, we would let Him lead us through everything, including our season of singleness. If we stopped asking God when He would give us a spouse, then we’d have so much more time to ask God to guide us, to help bring more children to the kingdom. Our main purpose on this earth isn’t to get married and have children, our main purpose on earth is to spread the Word and to share the hope of Jesus Christ. Now how are we going to share the hope, if we’re too distracted by waiting for our future spouse? God has a plan for each and every one of us, if we would just trust in that plan, then Jesus will take care of us, He will sustain us. We must stop the nonsense of constantly waiting for God to give us a person, when God gave us the best thing already, His son. I’m going to share some steps you can take to stop worrying about your singleness and to start worrying about where God can use you.

accepting

the first step to being comfortable in your singleness is to accept Jesus as your Savior. Jesus wants all of us to know Him and to be saved, so He made it fairly simple, all He requires for us to do is to pray to Him. To ask Him for forgiveness and to proclaim that we accept Him as our one and only Savior. If you’d like to talk to someone about what it means to accept Jesus as your Savior, contact me and I can talk with you or put you in contact with a pastor.

praying

being single will always be something that we struggle with, especially when we know God desires for us to be married, but we must pray to Him in our waiting and struggling. If you ask God to guide you through the hardships, He will, He will walk right beside you, He might even carry you through it. pray that God will help you through your worrying and use you for His kingdom.

diving

dive into the Word. the Bible is full of wisdom and clarity, which are two things every human needs. the Bible is also filled with love and lessons from God. when we take a leap into His arms, when we ask Him to guide us, and when we dive into His Word, we are beginning to surround ourselves with God.

meeting

now some of us are going to be single forever and some of us won’t be, but none of us are going to prosper if we try to do life alone. so go out, go to a church group, join a ministry group on campus, find a church that you feel comfortable in, reach out to christian communities, find christian friends. if you surround yourself with people who you are equally yoked with, you will all come together to praise the Lord, and they can even help pray with you during your struggling with being single. God doesn’t want us to do life alone, that’s why He created friendship.

growing

when we keep in our faith and we make a habit of praying, diving into the Word, and meeting other christians; then we will continue to grow. ask your christian friends to hold you accountable, ask God to help you grow closer to Him, make it a daily habit to read the Bible. keep going to your groups, keep putting yourself in Godly situations. when we grow, we start to see others grow too.

sharing

as christians we are called to share our faith, to share the hope of Jesus Christ. stop focusing on whether or not you are going to meet someone and start focusing on those who don’t know Jesus and start helping them to know Him. stop saying “my calling is....” and start saying, “God has called me to share Him with the world.” stop saying “God give me a boyfriend/girlfriend” and start saying, “God lead me to a person who needs you and help me serve them, help me share who you are with them.” we aren’t called to do anything, but to share who He is.

That all being said, singleness isn’t the biggest issue we face, and it really isn’t an issue at all. The biggest issue we face, is knowing that not everyone knows Jesus. We should be focusing on how we can grow in Christ and how we can serve Him. We should focus on bringing more children of God to the kingdom. Your singleness isn’t a disease, it doesn’t need a cure, it’s not a problem. Stop making this about you and start making it about God. “Father, I don’t want to think of my singleness as a problem anymore. I know that you will take care of me, no matter what. I know that whatever happens, I will be okay. Lord Jesus, use me. I want to serve you and only you. This is about you, not me. Lord, use me to expand your kingdom. I know my purpose, I know I’m called to share who you are with the world. Lord, help me share your hope. Lord, this is all about you and your kingdom. Lord, I love you and know I only need you. I pray all of this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Thanks for hanging out with me for this series, until next time!

“You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me. I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me. And so I am thankful and glad, and I feel completely secure, because you protect me from the power of death. I have served you faithfully, and you will not abandon me to the world of the dead. You will show me the path that leads to life; your presence fills me with joy and brings me pleasure forever.” // Psalm 16:5-11 GNT

waiting game

Hi all, my name is Nicole Grover and Aubrey asked me to write from another perspective on relationships and waiting for the right person to come into your life. (To catch up on the series click here!)

These past couple of years, God put my level of patience to the test. I struggled watching my friends find great guys that soon turned into long-lasting relationships. I constantly wondered when it was my turn to meet “the guy". Seeing most of your friends happy and in a committed relationship makes tons of emotions run through your head. Half of you is glad your friend found someone that makes their days better and the other half of you is jealous; jealous of the fact that she/he found their person that makes dark and gloomy days turn bright and sunny. Thinking that I may end up alone was a thought that went through my head often. God showed me in many ways that I wasn’t alone now and that I wouldn’t be alone in my future. “In order to love someone else you must love yourself.” These words stuck with me since the day I heard them. I began to realize that this was God’s plan for me and I wasn’t supposed to rush His plan.

My freshman year of college was the year God truly tested my patience. I saw floor mates, building mates, or even just other freshman walking throughout campus making connections with others. I tried, but I knew that God’s plan was in the works and a connection wouldn’t be forced, rather it would be effortless. Half way through the year, I began to accept that God was in control of my life and the relationships I had made and relationships to come. Letting God take control of my life and letting His plan take over was a big step for me. God puts different people in your life to teach you different lessons. Over the last couple years, I watched some friends lose their relationships, some enter relationships, and some be in unhealthy relationships. Having experienced their heart aches, pains, and the happy feelings with them, I knew that this was God showing me what I should be treated like and what I shouldn’t be treated like. This made it even more clear to me that patience was the right choice.  

So, my friends, being single is nothing to be ashamed about, rather it’s something to be glad about. Knowing that God has a special plan for you makes waiting for your perfect person even better. Although those lonely thoughts still will run through your head, it is important to know that God loves you for you and only you. He has a plan for you and the day you meet your person will come soon enough. Keep praying to God for He will answer. Pray for your future spouse, or your person. Pray they are living a healthy life and will continue to live one. On the days you feel lonely, pray to God as He knows what your path is.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” // Ephesians 4:2

trusting God in the midst

Hello everyone! My name is Olivia Van Wyk and I was asked by the lovely Aubrey Sochacki to write a blog post in order to give another perspective on relationships(which you can learn even more about here). This past year I have had the opportunity to gain many great relationships whether it was through Godly friendships or even a closer relationship with God himself. But along with so much gain there were also many seasons of loss and loneliness in this past year of my life. Long story short I was a girl in love with a man that I had been dating for almost 2 years. He was my best friend and definitely the person I saw myself marrying, having a family with, and just growing old together. Then one day, all these dreams and the reality of my relationship came to an abrupt and unforeseen end. I was devastated, confused, and just angry with the plan that God had for me. Although, after I gave it some time and allowed myself to go through the stages of grief I finally understood what God's plan was for me, and I also learned how to use this next stage of my life to live for Him and accept His plan.

Now with all that being said I definitely wasn't overwhelmed with the answers and an explanation of God’s plan for me, but I was rather overwhelmed with His comfort and presence in my life. But throughout this season of my life, it took time for me to open my eyes and my ears to the Lord and it took time for me to understand and trust God’s plan for me. Thankfully during all this time, God never failed to love me and be patient with me even when I began to question Him. I remember asking why God broke my heart and why He was making me so sad and alone? But then, I realized God does not cause this harm onto His beloved children, but He does allow them (us) to hurt for a reason. Sometimes people need to lose something really important to them in order to realize what is more important in life. This is why God allows our heart to break because He wants us to see how important a relationship with Him truly is. God wants to use this season of your life (and every season, at that) to work through you and to use you to better His kingdom.

Now I’m sure you're probably thinking the same thing that I was; I mean how could God use me when I feel so broken? But the truth is that everyone is broken in their own way and God loves to use these broken people because there is space within Him that can be transformed into something strong and beautiful through the Holy Spirit. For example, in ancient Japanese culture there is a tradition where a sculpture would make a beautiful piece of art and then eventually they would purposely break it. After the piece was broken the artist would use gold to repair the item and make it more beautiful and unique than it was before. In this situation God is the almighty sculpture and has made you perfect in His eyes, but eventually He will allow you to reach a point where you feel broken, and this is where you allow God to be the gold in your life. Allow God to fill in the broken pieces of your life and also repair and restore you! Allow God to make you beautiful and unique through your brokenness and remember that God has a plan for you.

So I keep talking about this plan that God has for you and sometimes you know exactly where he is leading you and other times you may be unsure. Regardless as to what outlook you have towards God’s plan you must remember that God is in control and you are not. As a human this is a hard aspect to accept and follow because we so badly want things to go our way and we want to be in control. For me, I so badly wanted my boyfriend to be a part of my life and a part of my plan, but in reality God has a better plan for me and it will be better than I could ever imagine! With that being said, I will fully trust in the Lord’s plan and I will give Him every part of my life and I hope that you can do the same in any situation of your life; whether it be a heart full of love or a broken heart of some sort. Like I said, as humans, we don't have control over experiences in life and the plan that God has for us, but there is one way we can take action into our own hands and prepare our heart, mind, and soul for the presence and work of God. By creating a relationship with God and using the power of prayer we are able to prepare ourselves for whatever life and God throws our way. So pray that God will work through your brokenness and use you for His purpose. Pray that you will be more Christ like, so that you can see yourself, the ones you love, and the world through His eyes and His beauty. And most importantly, trust in God my friends and remember that He is always there for you even when you feel completely alone and heart broken.

“I am not alone, for my father is with me.”/ / John 16:32