i'm sitting here in athletic shorts (even though i never actually do anything athletic), a little mermaid t-shirt, my hair is damp, and i have a massive zit on my forehead that not even 3 layers of concealer can cover. i'm trying to plan out the rest of my week, mainly my free time because i find it hard to relax unless i schedule it in. i'm pondering on some things that are hard to comprehend and having a lot of anxiety around them and just daily life. i miss my people back home, but i love being here as well. i'm feeling a little stuck in a rut. but hey, i am where i am for a reason.
God has put me in this place, without showing me the way out, but he's doing this for a reason. i am right where he wants me in this moment. it's hard to believe that God would ever want me stuck, but i believe He is doing it to teach me something. i am in a place that no one posts about on social media, that no one has glamorized, that no one really talks about. but hey, i am talking about this place because i strongly believe God wants you to know that someone else (me) is in a rut just like you. that hey, we are both going to get out of here. that, we're going to get those bricks off our chests soon. that, your panic attack or depression or loneliness or feeling of rejection; isn't where you have to stay forever.
now, i don't exactly know how to get out of the rut i'm in, but i also know that i don't need to get out of it at this exact moment in time. i know that maybe this rut is where i'll meet someone else in a rut and we will help each other out. that, maybe this rut will help me grow closer to God. that this rut has a purpose, other than being utterly annoying. this rut is where i am right now, and hey, that's okay with me.
xoxo, Aubs
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