okay, time is literally only a concept, but we let it dictate so much of our lives. what time we will wake up, what time we have class, what time we eat, what time we sleep, what time we go out on dates, what time we hang out with friends, etc. time dictates every aspect of our lives, but time is just a concept created by humans. time isn't even a real thing, like yes God made day and night, but he didn't specifically say "the sun will set at blah blah blah time" or "everyone will eat at this time." time is just a restraint that mankind created to make our lives easier to live, but i seem to find that time sometimes makes my life harder. so maybe we just need to take some time and ponder on how much not having time is holding us back.
now for my next thought, i have a question for you all. are you living how you want to live or are you living how society wants you to live? looking at my own life, i seem to find that a lot of the time i'm living how society wants me to live. society wants me to go to college, society wants me to drive a nice car, society wants me to find a husband, society wants me to have children. i mean i also want to go to college and get married and have children. but, if society didn't want me to do those things, would i feel the pressure to do them? probably not. it's weird how much society influences us or holds us back. society says i am a millennial, therefore society already declared that i am not a hard worker, that i won't have a successful love life, that i'll fail over and over again. but that's not even true, because i don't follow society's rules, i follow God's rules. this thought kind of reminds me of christine caine's talk from passion. she questioned us all, "who told you?" who told you, you needed to go to college? who told you, that you needed to find a spouse right now? who told you, that you'll never be successful? God never said these things, therefore they can't be true.
i wake up at 5 am everyday, even though my alarm is set for 7 am. why do i wake up at the same time everyday? maybe it's because i'm not spending enough time with God and He's trying to tell me something. i know that's what it has been in the past, so maybe He's trying to reach me again. maybe it's just my anxiety waking me up and freaking me out, it's also been that before. maybe it's because i have a poet's brain and can't keep my thoughts at bay, even when i'm sleeping. i've written some of my best lines, while being half asleep. it really could be a variety of things.
i'm seriously just trying to get you all to think about some things, that i'm sure you've questioned before.
so here's another one. how do we actually know how were feeling, if we have a word for every emotion? do we actually know what emotions are or are they just words? do we actually know what happiness is or sadness? do we know what hurt feels like? hurt is just a word, not a feeling. if you feel like your heart is being ripped into pieces, do you think hurt justifies that feeling? if you can't get out of bed or stop the tears from flowing, are you really just sad? emotions are just words that we gave meaning to, it's actually so weird to me.
okay, here's another thought for you all. why is halsey sooooo relatable? i'm just listening to her music and it's all just so relatable. like girl my life is falling apart too, but i'm still loving life. remember when i met halsey and cried? same. she's just such an inspiring force, don't @ me.
i was going to end this post and mentioned i was crazy, so now i have another random thought about craziness. so ya'll probably think i'm crazy, which i am. we are all crazy, some more than others. you just have to decide how crazy you want to be and then one day you'll find someone who likes your crazy and you like theirs. wait, so we're basically searching for someone who will compliment our craziness! isn't that just crazy?
i am done scaring you with my thoughts, hope i got you thinking about some of these things. tweet me about your crazy thoughts, i'm curious!
xoxo, aubs
