As I stated in the title, I am done with my first year of college (it will be exactly 3 weeks since, on Thursday) and I am beyond happy to be home. I miss the friends I have made and staying up until 3 a.m. with my roomie. I do not miss campus food or dorm life. Aside from all I miss and don't miss, this post actually has a real purpose. I have learned a lot and fallen in love with a lot this past year, so yes, that is what I am going to talk about. Let's start with what I've learned and go from there.

what I've learned:

1. nothing is better than a home cooked meal

I truly cherish all the times that my friends and I would gather in our tiny dorm kitchen and make meals. Whether it was something extravagant like a big pasta dinner or something smaller like breakfast sandwiches, it was always better than campus dining. If you eat at least one home cooked meal a month, you'll be happier and healthier (proven fact)!!

2. mental health should be put above everything else

As many of you know I had a battle with seasonal depression and anxiety this school year. I noticed that I was putting way too much on my plate and not giving myself enough alone time. I really didn't know how to take care of myself, because I always want to take care of everyone else. I became a Maven ambassador in the summer and hadn't used it for much, other than a few nutrition questions and cold remedies. I found myself needing someone to talk to, someone who wasn't just a friend. I began talking to a mental health provider on Maven (Elyssa Kilman, to be exact! She's fantastic, if you need to talk to someone) and saw a lot of improvement. I also began to make time for myself (as an introvert I need alone time to refuel) and began to gain a lot from it. If you aren't putting your mental health above your education, work, relationships, etc. then chances are they aren't going to be what you'd like them to be.

3. grocery stores are a rad hang out place

I'm pretty sure my friends and I would just go to Meijer for fun, hiding in the toilet paper and such. Or sometimes I'd drag them to Trader Joe's with me. In the end, grocery shopping is always fun and who doesn't love food? 

4. caffeine is a blessing sent directly from heaven

I have a serious caffeine addiction, like I get headaches if I don't drink a cup of coffee as soon as I wake up. But also, caffeine helps you stay up until 3 am to study for your exams, what a cool thing caffeine is! 

things I've fallen in love with:

1. God

I mean I was already in love with God, but I think I've fallen more in love with Him. College helped me realize so many things about myself and about my faith, it helped me grow so much stronger to God and made me lean on Him so much more. College is cool because you make your own decisions, such as whether or not you go to church or join a ministry group on campus (like Cru!!). 

College = growing in faith

2. painting

I am a writer, I write to relieve my stress. But writing was making me stressed this school year, so I couldn't use it as a release, so I began to paint. I painted a bunch of Bible verses with watercolor for fun and for stress relief. 

3. netflix and spotify

hahaha, I watched so much netflix this past school year. 

here is a little list of some of the shows I watched this year:

stranger things

jane the virgin

call the midwife

how to get away with murder

parks and rec (again, again, again)

svu

13 reasons why

supergirl

I watched more than just those, but I think you get the idea! And spotify premium is half off for students, which is a wonderful thing. 

4. new friends

I made a lot of new friends this year, a lot that will be life long friends. I am so blessed to have met these amazing people and to have gotten to know them. 

That being said, I hope you learned some things this past school year and that you also took time to fall in love with the little things. My prayer for you is that you continue to learn from God and all that he has to offer to you and that you do everything out of love.

Thank you for taking a break from the Cure To Singleness series (which will be back next week) with me! thanks for reading :) 

xoxo, Aubs

un(lovable)

Hey you! Catch up on the rest of this series before reading!

I began writing this post about how I’ve heard so many people call themselves unlovable, but then I realized that I probably couldn’t get my point across that way; I knew that people wouldn’t relate to my post that well, unless I talked about my own life.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. I have never been perfect and I never will be. I have called myself unlovable, I have thought about how no one could ever love me and how annoying it would be to be married to me. I mean I complain a lot, I pick the raisins out of my trail mix and the peas out of my fried rice, I’m sometimes a crazy driver, I’m an occasional backseat driver, and I have my own set of regrets and brokenness. But I know that I am still lovable, because of Jesus. We (that includes me) think of all the things we’ve done that we aren’t proud of and we can’t imagine anyone loving us if they knew of these things. I know we all tear ourselves down and come up with a reason for our singleness, we think it’s because of all the bad we’ve done; we think that we are unlovable. If one person in this world is unlovable, then we’re all unlovable. None of us live a life free of sin, I mean we can try, but we aren’t perfect. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of and we’ve all strayed from the path.

The more we say that we are unlovable, the more we begin to believe it; we are so far from the truth. Tell me, why do we continue to call ourselves unlovable, when Christ died for us, out of love? If you are so unlovable, why did Christ die so that you could be with Him in eternity? If I am so unlovable, why did Christ love me even before I loved Him?

you’re lovable to God

Now if we are to believe that Jesus is God, we are to believe that God came down in the most vulnerable form, out of love. He felt the same hurts and temptations of this world, out of love. He didn’t want heaven without us because of His love for us. He was nailed to a cross, out of love. He rose again three days later, out of love. He proclaimed that he would be back to take us all home because of His love for us.

Jesus loves you so much so that He died, for you. He washed away all sins, for you. He felt immense physical pain so that you could one day be with Him in heaven. He shows you grace every single day. He cheers you on, even when you won’t even let Him sit on the sidelines. You’re so lovable to Him, that it shouldn’t matter if people love you or not, but He will send people to love you anyways.

you’re lovable to someone

We’re not meant to do life alone and we know that, but sometimes we isolate ourselves because of our sin. We repent and we know we are forgiven, but our past sins still haunt us. We have let Jesus heal us, but we still live in the past. We know that Jesus loves us, but we don’t think anyone on earth ever could, “How could someone love me after I (fill in the blank)?” We’ve all said it or thought it. The truth is, God made someone to love you. That someone could be a spouse, but they could also be a friend. God didn’t promise that we’d all get married, but He did promise that we wouldn’t be alone. You’ll find that person who will love you for all of you. Even though you’ve sinned, you will still be loved. Even though you've sinned, you are still lovable.

you’re lovable

The bottom line is, that you are lovable and you are so loved. No matter what, God always has and always will love you. And because God loves you, He will send someone to show you love on earth. Just be preparing and praying for that person, whomever they might be! Your past does not define you, your future does not define you, you only find your worth in God! Stop living in your past sin and start living in love! YOU are so lovable, to God, to me and to someone else in your life.

I pray that you will know that you are loved by the Father and that you are lovable. I pray that you find that person that finds every single part of you lovable. I pray that you'd find healing, that you'd find joy in God's love. I pray that whatever you need from God, that He will provide you with it. I pray for you, friends.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. / / John 3:16